I turned 50 today. In truth I don't feel different, aside from nursing a late winter cold. Yet turning fifty is an introspective moment. I would have done some things differently; been more thoughtful, kept my mouth shut more, made a call put off too long. All of us have things we've done or failed to do and would change. In the main, I am comfortable with the big decisions of my life. But to be sure, there are some things I wish were different; sad things I have witnessed in this country I love.

I remember the summer of 1967. Vietnam. I was a teenager growing up in Richmond, Virginia. I watched Vietnam unfold and, unlike many around me, believed that America had an obligation to be there. The discontent was palpable and even in my youth I sensed the deep national division over this far away war. The music, the language, the hard edge of political rhetoric was bitter. That autumn, a high school friend died suddenly of a congenital heart condition. While attending his wake, I passed by another parlor room that contained the lifeless body of an Army soldier. No one was there, save a condolences book with a few names written in. His lifeless body was dressed in a uniform. Medals adorned his chest and an American flag was neatly folded back across the casket. He was alone. No mourners. And he drew his last breath in Vietnam. That incident colored forever how I would feel about soldiers, their sacrifices, and my obligation to stand among them as I have for 28 years. I wish that young man had not lost his life. And I wish that we would do more for veterans that served honorably in that war before they too are alone and without a mourner.

When I attended the Army War College in 1996, I formed a friendship with a senior officer from an African nation. When we spoke of race he would say, "You Americans are consumed with race. Why don't you just get over it?" The remark caught me off guard, but since then, I've often wondered why we can't. America seems almost possessed by racial tension. It's different from when I grew up in segregated Richmond. Racism was not a nuance; the barriers were obvious and intended. I lived among whites. Blacks lived elsewhere. The civil rights movement corrected virtually all of the physical and legal blockades. But today the rhetoric of race is acerbic. Differences of opinion on race-once debated on what should be just law-are now characterized by vicious personal attacks on one's character. If you oppose policies that discriminate against whites to fight unjust discrimination against minorities, you support "institutional racism". If you make a concerted effort to appoint minorities to major positions of responsibility, you might be accused of "selling out" to pressure groups. I wish we could have a frank and honest discussion about race. It might begin with the reality that the diversity movement has hurt what ought to be the fundamental focus of an equal opportunity movement. Lets be honest, here. Young black males in the inner city are a lost generation and we need to step up and help them. We can't do that wasting money on a politically correct diversity agenda that sucks the energy out of what ought to be our primary focus-helping the neediest. John Sibley Butler, a noted African American scholar observes of the diversity movement, that back when water fountains were labeled "White" and "Colored", when he looked over his shoulder, there were no white women, gays, Hispanics, or Native Americans in the line looking for a drink. They were drinking with the whites. Now they are stacked up in line with lost black youth competing for resources. I wish we could have a no-nonsense discussion about race.

Finally, I wish we would recognize once and for all that the demise of the family is why young kids take guns to school and shoot one another. I wish we could agree that alcohol and drug abuse by kids are the result of shattered and unfocused lives, often in the context of broken homes, fueled by liberal no-fault divorce laws. Out of wedlock pregnancies happen when parents model that behavior for their kids. Saddest yet, even our national leaders seem content to model infidelity, confident that a public confession will be sufficient to regain our trust. What are our youth to think? How about "just do it"? Violence and crudeness are learned behaviors. So too is respect for human dignity and civility when inculcated in our youth by caring adults. As a nation we are locked in a state of permanent social adolescence, seemingly unable to grow up and take responsibility, recognizing that as adults, we have roles and responsibilities that require we set aside our self-indulgence for the duties we have toward others, particularly our children.

I turned 50 today and I think I want to change some things.

L. Scott Lingamfelter is the Vice-Chairman of the Prince William-Manassas Family Alliance and lives with his family in Lake Ridge. He has a BA in History from VMI and an MA in Government from UVa. He regularly contributes to the Potomac News and has been published in other papers across Virginia.